Born Standing Up, by Steve Martin

 "Doing comedy alone on stage is the ego's last stand."

I could detail the process of how he reached success but that isn't what stands out to me after reading this 2007 memoir. Actually, Martin himself quips at one point that it's really more of a biography since the person he's writing about isn't who he is now. How he got there is a mix of ambition, frustration, glee, silliness, anxiety, and depression. 

How ironic that so many who do comedy seem not to have carefree, fun filled lives but lives that leave them somehow apart from both family and friends, not to mention the contrary views of fans as their fame grows. I have to admit to never being a huge Steve Martin fan in his "Wild and Crazy" stand-up days but came away from this book with a new respect and admiration for his intelligence, honesty, and, yes, humor. Hearing him narrate this was a plus. The banjo interludes between sections was also a fun bonus.

I won't detail his stand-up career, which is the focus of the book. Plot summaries are easily found. It ends just as his movie career begins with "The Jerk" movie. More than the how of how he become a success, I was moved by the obstacles he had to overcome to become the man he is today. Ironic isn't it, how many comedians seem to suffer from anxiety and severe depression, both of which dogged Martin throughout his life and career. Intelligent and ultimately well educated, with an interest in art, history, literature, philosophy and logic, it's doubtful anyone would have pegged Martin to become a stand-up comedian. 

Even worse, his relationship with his father was unhealthy, even abusive at times. That continued for years with them becoming closer only as his father was near death. Remember, his father once panned his son's first appearance on Saturday Night Live in a public review. Not until near death did his father admit that his son had done what he himself had once dreamed of, becoming famous.

Despite his eventual, years-in-the making success, he felt isolated and lonely at the height of his stand-up success.  He was tired from being constantly on the road, and depressed. He felt he'd gone stale and as audience numbers grew lost that sense of connection with his audience. It was, he said, the "loneliest period of my life." Stand-up comedy is by its very  nature a solo endeavor for most. You're on your own. As success grew, fans were showing up at his door, too, ringing the doorbell and expecting to be invited in or, at least entertained. He was expected to be the public figure he portrayed. They expected humor on demand, in other words. This details how this growing sense of isolation and depression lead to both the end of his stand-up career and the beginning of his acting and eventual career as not just a comedy sketch writer but an author.

I found this an intriguing read, well, listen. I "read" the audio version of the book that was read by Martin himself. I recall reading a print copy of this some years back with no real reaction to it, so this was an interesting listen for me.