Since I read this one in spurts, between other books I've committed to review, and dealing with the real world, my apologies if this doesn't quite flow. It's an intense read but one that anyone who has ever dealt with mental illness in the family can relate to. Needless to say, I flashed back to my own experiences dealing with dementia in the family, so it hit close to home at times.
It begins with the recounting of the author's mother, Shirley Ellen Biles, being taken away in a straight jacket. The author is about 8-9 at the time and has grown up dealing with his mother's breakdowns much of his life. I'm honestly impressed that the author can recount this story so well given all the emotions that had to be riling within him. He mentions his mother turning on his father violently, striking out and shrieking at him, something I experienced first-hand, so I could definitely relate to the emotions and I was an adult at the time. Paranoid schitzophrenia and the dementia that I experienced aren't the same but seem to have shared many of the most visible characteristics. Treatments were primitive by today's standards but doctors did seem to work out a medical treatment that allowed Shirley to maintain her core self for longer and longer periods. I won't detail them as, quite frankly, the meds used were unfamiliar with me and I don't want to misspeak.
The book is basically broken down into three parts, perseverance, phoenix, and post struggles. We're given an intimate look at the patient's prior life, including her childhood and marriage. To complicate matters, Stephen's father was an alcoholic, dealing with his own demons, hardly preparing him to cope with his wife's mental illness. His presence, however, somewhat shielded Stephen until 1981, when his father passed away. I won't detail the journey as not only does the blurb do an good job of covering the basics but there are already some excellent, detailed reviews out there, but Stephen's life changed forever. Manic depression and periods of paranoia and hyper-energy from his mother followed, and that's just the tip of the iceberg facing the Biles family. Stephen's unwavering devotion to his mother never failed, however, even when forced to leave one profession and begin another that, initially, was anything but a success. That would change but that is where dogs began to play a major role in the journey. But, first, a few more details....
One aspect of this journey to save his mother from the depths of despair that I'd highlight is his willingness to work closely with the medical professionals involved in Shirley's treatment. As noted, her illness, even today, isn't a simple one to treat. Medicines and treatments had to be fine-tuned and adapted as Shirley's situation changed. Dr. Fredman, who wrote the foreward, was one of the doctors involved early on, btw. Note, it's predicted one in four Americans will experience some form of mental health issue in their lifetime, so this is a story that could apply to any of us. It's a story that will both warm and hurt your heart but you'll admire the love and trust that existed between mother and son throughout. It isn't always an easy story to read, either, so keen those tissues handy. Shirley's intense drive to get better and Stephen's willingness to sacrifice to meet their mutual goals are inspiring, however. I should note the basic goals, too: consistant, meaningful exercise, maintaining social contact, and being able to feel independent, ie like she was having a say in her own life and treatment, were at the top of the list. Through it all, Stephen faced the task of keeping not only her motivated but, of course, himself. I didn't note the exact words but at one point he says he was both her drill sergeant and couch as well as her lifeline and inspiration.
As for the dogs, they do play a role in the story. When forces to leave his job behind, Stephen found himself "going to the dogs", cliche that it is. The family had always had dogs and he ultimately decided to try to make a go of it starting a doggie day care. Dogs had always been a huge part of the family's life and it seemed a natural. But, it wasn't easy. You'll meet many of the dogs that passed through their lives, all leaving a mark. Initially forced to take any and all jobs caring for the dogs, even if it involved driving distances in the middle of the night, Stephen had a secret weapon. His mother. Shirley, who customers seem to have come to think of as part of their canine's family, too, played a huge role, often helping care for the more difficult dogs. Do be forewarned, since this story covers more than two decades, it is inevitable that some of these dogs will pass during the story so, as noted early, keep those tissues close although, quite frankly, I found these dog stories and roles more inspiring than saddening.
Bottom line, this is a story that as difficult as some sections were to read, deserves to be read. While sadly, even after beating back her mental issues, Shirley was than faces with medical issues that are also shared, it's an inspiring story. Anyone who has ever felt despair while dealing with the illness or caring for those it has impacted, will know both that they aren't alone and that as hopeless as things may seem at times, there is hope. I don't feel like this quick overview has done justice to the book but hope many will give it a read. You'll come away wanting to hug your loved ones closer and, yes, that includes your furry family friends.
